Warm weather friend

Bad Monkey

Ugh. Retail.

So, anyone who knows me knows I hate retail anything. After bday shopping for Laura I had to come home and scarf down some chocolate ice cream. Laura capture my choco-therapy session mid-bite :-P

To think that some ppl use retail AS therapy miss me really confused and scared for society today...

Aisle 1, B? C2? More confusing than the dewey decimal system, I swear. Why is the ice cream NOT next to the frozen pizza? Why are bday cards next to shampoo?! Why is the dollar section in the BACK of the store now vs. The front where it was LAST week and why are fresh donuts not fresh and what happened to self checkouts? That fad done? No one told me... Why are conveyor belts now round not linear? Why is the redbox outside when its 90+ degrees? I just... ugh. Retail.

Laura! I love you!!!!!! Happpppppy birthday!!!!!

Memorial Day 2012 - At home and quiet!

I know. They are, in fact, all so terribly cute that you could just die a thousand deaths. We didn't do a thing today, unless you count a trip to WalMart. We live on the edge. Other than that, we had some great baked potatoes, did a little more around the house and just enjoyed a quiet Memorial Day!

Bill Donohue’s Open Letter to Maureen Dowd

by Nick on MAY 23, 2012 in STOP HHS MANDATE

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My Dearest Maureen,

In today’s New York Times, you write the following:

“The church insists it’s an argument about religious freedom, not birth control. But, really, it’s about birth control, and women’s lower caste in the church. It’s about conservative bishops targeting Democratic candidates who support contraception and abortion rights as a matter of public policy. And it’s about a church that is obsessed with sex in ways it shouldn’t be, and not obsessed with sex in ways it should be. The bishops and the Vatican care passionately about putting women in chastity belts.”

I have a confession to make. While some may think you sound like a delusional weepy woman, don’t listen to them. You see, I was in on those meetings with the bishops when we hatched plans to stick it to women and sabotage the Democrats. 

We met over drinks. Plenty of them. Except for one bishop who said over time women could become our equal, all of us agreed that you gals need to be kept in your place. As you properly note, this means being subjugated to the lower caste, just the way we snookered Mother Teresa.

You are only partly right about the Democrats. In fact, starting last year our goal was to rig the Republican primary so that Romney would win. Why? Because then we could pull his Mormon strings without being accused of running the government. So far, so good. Just don’t tell Mitt.

We are obsessed about sex. Indeed, when I meet with the bishops, it’s the only thing we talk about. Admittedly, it sometimes feels like I’m at a frat party, but boys will be boys. There is one difference: at frat parties, chastity belts for women are never discussed, but with the bishops, nothing is more important. The goal is to make a “one size fits all” belt, one that is not removable. Velcro works for all sizes, but it comes off. Not to worry, my dearest Maureen, we won’t give up. That’s because, quite unlike the stately New York Times, we’re obsessed about sex.