Welcome home, baby! I've missed you so much today. Thank you for all you do, getting out there every day and supporting our family.

What's that? Of course I'll set some clothes out for you to wear to Lucy's 103-degree soccer practice. No, no, I didn't go to the trouble of folding them - I know you hate to see me go above and beyond like that!

Dinner? All ready to go - you can eat it in the scorching heat with a plastic spoon, juuuuuuust how you like it. What is it? Lipton rice sides, canned corn and chicken nuggets! Only the best for the chivalrous father oof my children. Yes, yes, yes, I'll make sure to save plenty for you to take to lunch tomorrow, silly!