Breathable Baby Bumper, the custom way.

I have no idea how this is going to turn out formatting wise. All of these pictures are all over the place and I have no earthly idea how to fix them. Just search for the corresponding pictures as we go, okay then? 

So I spent a lot of time trying to find a pattern to sew bumpers for the boys' cribs. I'm talking weeks of googling, and it just felt like SO much fabric and so much measuring. I will do anything to avoid measuring. Seriously. So I was in the shower a few weeks ago thinking about bumpers, and I thought, "I'll just take one that's already made and make it custom!" And OH did my idea come to fruition. 

I went to Target looking for breathable bumpers, but only came up with very pricey, satin-trimmed bumpers. $30 a pop! Wha?! Highway robbery. So I went to Amazon, and found the exact same bumpers for $18 each. This week they're $28 apiece, so it looks like my timing was just heaven-sent! 

So I had to improvise as far as an ironing board, since I don't have one of those fancy free-standing jobs. Pack and play working FINE, thank you. I cut a three-inch-wide strip of fabric, and then kept CUTTING. Forever. Like 200 inches of fabric. Gahhhhh. Then I set to ironing. I hate ironing. If I had a real ironing board, people might expect me to iron. See the connection there? "Sorry babe, I couldn't  possibly iron that shirt...my ironing board is WAY below par..." 

I just folded the edges in and then folded it in half, and pressed it like CRAZY. The Breathable Baby Bumpers have a one-inch satin trim, so I figured cutting three inches, folding in a half-inch on each side and folding it in half would be perfect. I was right. Then I just folded that bad boy over the existing satin and zipped right on down the bumper! (I should mention, the BBB's have long strips of velcro on each end that need to be ripped out and then sewn OVER the fabric when you're done. Taking the velcro off will not hurt the existing satin. I thought they might be sewn on with the same thread, but the good Lord made a provision. Whew!) 

Add your velcro back....and do it all over again. There are two pieces to one breathable bumper, so just know that once you're all finished, you have to start over again. If you're having twins...you're doing that times three. Whee!

And with a little fabric and a lot of ironing, you have a custom bumper that ALSO makes you look super safety-conscious and incredibly awesome at the same time. 

I recommend guzzling Sonic drinks while you iron and sew. If you're in the family way like me and are avoiding hard liquor, Sonic is the only thing that may level your mood in the same way. 

So there you go! My genius all wrapped up in one blog post.