Plumb Crazy - Home Improvement Project #3.

Well, this is not a tale of home improvement DIY-style so much as angels descending from the sky to save our plumbing. And I do mean ALL of it.

After hot water issues, dishwasher issues (read: leaking through the wall into the master bathroom) and a trip from the plumber to irrigate our cleanout, we thought we were done with plumbing problems for a bit. That was until Saturday morning, when Nina called us into the master bathroom to take a gander at the raw sewage threatening to fill our garden tub, shower stall and toilet. Fantastic. We called the first plumber we could find who wouldn't charge overtime for weekend work, and he was out immediately. He decided he'd work on the cleanout again, which pretty much freaked us out. Within about 10 minutes, he'd "hit something hard about 40 feet out from the house." He left with the promise that he'd be back sometime Monday with a camera to explore the line from the cleanout to the sewer. Dollar signs, y'all. Andrew and I were sad, shocked, mad and terrified that our little home improvement fund was about to go down the drain. Literally.

Auntie Kasie texted me and said, "Hey, call a sewer and drain guy!" So I googled and called the first number I saw, knowing absolutely nothing about plumbing, sewers and drains. The guy who answered said, "Well, there used to be a sewer company at this number, but that was years ago. I'm a plumber, though. What's up?" I start in on the whole long story. House mostly unoccupied for years, waking it up after a dreamless sleep, surprises around every corner, poo in our yard. Big problems. The mysterious maybe-plumber on the other end of the line says, "Well, you should call the city if you're within city limits. Maybe it's their problem!"

I was dubious, but willing to trry anything to get out of paying the plumber for a third trip out. So I called the City of Fort Worth, who popped by about an hour later. The guy who came out was terribly nice and said, "Well, anything past the cleanout is our problem, unless it's roots." Hooray! City Guy says, "I'll be back on Monday to put a camera up there and see what's going on."

Fast forward to Monday morning. A crew of two guys comes by at 8:50am, and whaddya know! It's roots. Of course it is. Right under the tree where Andrew had hung the girls' swing the day before. The tree that I imagined them swinging on had a nasty plumbing issue right under it. City Guy says to me, "Well, we're going to install a new cleanout down by the property line, but maybe our crew will be kind enough to put the camera up the other side to see just how big the problem is before you have to start the work. It could be small, it could be huge." I died. Dollar signs. Tree gone. Heartbreak.

Tuesday morning. Andrew and I are sick with anticipation. A young man with the electric company comes out and spray paints all over the place. The crew arrives bright and early to start digging where the previous crew had marked the day before, but it turns out they need to place the cleanout a little higher in the yard due to the electric/phone lines. That gets us a little closer to the problem, but we're still looking at hiring a plumber and crew to handle our end of things. I sit by the window most of the morning, watching the backhoe hard at work, waiting to see just how bad the damage is. Knowing that the City would have to stop things at our property line, I was a mess, wondering what was under our beautiful tree.

Around lunchtime, City Guy comes in and says, "Well, we dug where they told us to, but there are no pipes there. We're going to have someone else come out and trace the line again. Going to lunch now. Tata!" Nina and I run out to inspect the hole, which is large enough to fit our Ford Escape. Fantastic. A giant hole in the yard, and nothing there. I call Andrew, who laughs hysterically and says, "Well good luck with that!" and hangs up on me.

The third crew of the day comes out to retrace the line. By 1pm, the backhoe is moving again. About an hour later, they tell us they've found the pipe. It's beyond our beloved tree, but it's broken in several places and roots are everywhere. And somehow, by the grace of God, not being able to find the pipes the first time around meant that they dug right up to the actual problem and would be replacing all of the pipes and fittings, free of charge.

God is so merciful!

Because of a great tip from a wrong number and a few happenstance slip-ups, what would have been an $8k job for us to finance and navigate turned out to be an afternoon job by the City. I know that most cities would never do work on private property and just call it a day, and I know that the entire thing was SO out of our hands. The pipes are fixed, the hole is filled again and the're even going to come by this week to fix the grass as well. I will never, ever complain about the price of water in this town again. Every time I look at the girls playing under that tree, I'll remember that even in the middle of the red tape and beauracracy, there are people who are willing to do a king thing for the community they serve.

And the tree was happy.