Authenticity

I just put Lucy down for a nap, and it should be a pretty good one. We just got in from a walk in the snow and she should be pretty pooped from the cold air. I even kept her up for a ful 4 hours between naps!

It's snowing and from my bedroom window, it looks so pretty! I should be cleaning the house right now, as it's a frightful mess. However, I need some time for me.

I've been thinking about me all day. That might sound a little self-centered, and it kind of is. They say motherhood changes you. Maybe it does, but I haven't had a second to think about it! I've been running nonstop for 7 months! A person can change a lot in 7 months, but I haven't even thought about it. I guess I really should, though. When people don't think about the fact that they've changed, they forget to look up and when they finally do, they've been changing for years and years and have no idea who they are anymore.
Andrew knows who I am. He watches me so closely, and he reminds me of what I like and what I don't like. But when you spend all day covered in someone else's bodily fluids, you tend to forget. Lucy keeps me SO busy. I don't even know what the newest songs are. I doubt I'd like them anyway...
Let's see. I like: Laughing in bed with Andrew after we brush our teeth, chocolate and milk, Dr. Karev from Grey's Anatomy, sunshine, soft blankets, the coffeehouse rock channel, driving on long car trips, inspecting Mom's house after I've been gone too long, talking to Nina on the computer, Suzzy's lovin', Lucy's smile, making dinner for friends, waking up to clean dishes next to the sink, Andrew and Lucy's secret-telling, the look on Andrew's face when he wakes me up on the couch, sharing a milkshake, stretching in bed when I get to sleep in, cookies, checking the mail, payday, holding hands in Church, roses, surprises and holiday commercials.
I hate: bad drivers, people who don't hold the door, cold showers, wet snow, cold dinners, re-runs, trashy women, drama and congestion. (Head congestion.) I also hate having cramps.
I'm tired of feeling like I've wasted a day. I've decided to take a step back from the message board I moderate. I'll still be moderating, but unless Lucy is dead asleep, I'm not posting on it. I have a life to live, a family to care for and a little girl who's growing up too fast. I need to put others first and take care of my own before I take care of the rest of the world. I'd rather have a clean house and a secure daughter than a recent avatar.

I have pics to post of Lucy in the snow, but I'll have to do that later. She really didn't know what to think! Oh, she learned how to whistle this morning. It was by far the cutest thing I've ever seen! I'm going to try to get it on video, but she really only does it when she's playing alone, which makes it very tricky! She ALSO took two crawling steps yesterday, but Andrew doesn't believe me. Suzzy was there, and she swears it's true! :-)