You people think I'm funny.

I can't believe the number of people who say, "I read your blog and I just laugh hysterically!"

This never fails to amuse me, because I'm not funny. I'm just brutally honest. If people spoke their minds more, this world would be a riot. That being said, please don't speak your mind to ME. I prefer to assume that you think nothing but happy thoughts and are envious of my trim waistline.

So....I've been sitting on this couch all. freaking. day. Claire loves to nurse, and she's hitting another fantastic growth spurt. It's easier to just watch the house crumble around me than it is to get away from her scary little newborn jaws. Or is she an infant now? Who knows...

Claire is going to be so hilarious when she's about 6. I know this because she doesn't hide a thing. I have to assume that I'll eventually enjoy her attitude, because right now she's about the most demanding and crabby tiny person I've ever met. The minute I sit down to do just about anything, Claire lets out this terrifying scream that brings me running. And then she eats. While she's eating, she completely fills her diaper. And it's loud, just so I know exactly what's going on. She's getting chubby and sort of looks dazed all the time, just like most newborns. She goes from cross-eyed to wall-eyed and back again, all day long, just like most newborns. And that's pretty much it.

Life around here is chaotic and exhausting. I know it's just the demands of having a newborn in the house, but not being able to keep up with the laundry and the housework and the cooking makes me incredibly edgy. I like order and routine, and babies are so Type B. Claire is still a stranger for the most part, and trying to figure her out is a little bit like looking for the Ark of the Covenant. Most of the time, it seems like I'm never going to get there. Right now she's at that point where you just don't let them cry because they're at a crucial point in developing trust and they're completely helpless. Sleep "training" isn't really something I even think about until 6-8 months, and we really just nurse on demand until then.We've started using the pacifier, which she loves a whole lot, but she's really not interested in anything but Mama. I get that. She can't see much and all she really knows is that where there's a nipple, there's a smile and a nap. But she's in my arms 24 hours a day, and I'm tired. I always think it's so funny when people ask, "Can I hold her?" Yes, you may. Until Wednesday.

It might sound like I'm losing my mind down here, but I'm so lucky to have the perspective that comes from having done this before. It'll be over soon and I'll be begging Andrew to have another one. The first time around was so difficult and Lucy was very much like Claire when she was tiny. Very demanding and not so rewarding. Without those great breastfeeding hormones, I might have jumped out a window. But it does fly by so fast. I know that deep down, but it never feels like it when you're in the thick of it. What I'm trying to say is, this is something that comes with every birth. When emotions are crazy, tensions are high and sleep is out the window, it's bound to be a recipe for disaster. I'm so lucky to have a husband who is willing to pull me aside and say, "Don't you remember this? This isn't you. We'll regroup on the other end - just survive for me." Most days, I need to hear that.

Last night Lucy was playing by herself in the living room and I could hear her singing. "How are youuuuuu ya.....How are youuuuuuuuu ya.....How are youuuuuuuuu ya!"

Howareyouya indeed. This too shall pass, faster than I'll want it to. And even with the stress of having another tiny person making demands in my direction, it's still a tiny person I'm so blessed to be feeding, dressing, cuddling and toting around in my incredibly heavy infant carrier. With each little howl she throws my way and every scary diaper I change, I'm learning a little more about her and falling in love a little more. I know she's going to be stellar, because anyone with a voice that loud probably has something important to say.

Howareyouya! God is so good, even in these trying times. I do know that this young family we're raising right now will be what we someday look back on as the very best years of our marriage. Even with a few months of newborn chaos, I know that's true. Howareyouya!