Poisoning My Husband

Andrew returns from class. "Hey, I'm going to make coffee. Want some?"

Me: "Sure. I made dessert- they'd be nice together."

Andrew goes into kitchen. I OOF. For a long time. I realize he's been in there for ages and decide to check on him.

Me: "Whatcha doing?"

A: "Making coffee."

Me: "Do you like where I moved the microwave to?"

A: "It's big. I'll find it wherever you put it."

Me: "OMG, the coffee pot had bleach in it. I was soaking it!"

A: "That's how Mafia wives kill their husbands."

Me: "Stop the coffee!"

A: "It's just a little bleach. It'll be fine."

Me: "OMG, I'm not drinking that."

The coffee is now coming out into the pot. It does not look like normal coffee. I freak. A starts pouring it into mugs. I freak more.

A: "Honey? Arsenic in your coffee?"

Me: "It doesn't even look like coffee. I'm not drinking it."

A: "It tastes fine. I made you coffee- you should really drink it."

Me: "No."

A: "OMG, I put hot cocoa in it to make mocha! Drink it! I'm onto your games and I rinsed out the pot."

Me: "Oh. Good. Dessert?"