Reasons to hit the bottle before 5pm.

I would have to say that my life is exactly the reason that the World Health Organization suggests breastfeeding to the age of two. Some women just aren't bottle feeders.

I've decided to claim Wednesday night as my own. That's right, y'all. I'll be leaving the house at 5:30pm and staying out until sanity starts to seep back into my body. (Approximately 5 hours.) So I decided that in case the pacifier can't hold her, maybe Molly should try a bottle. I mean, what else was I going to busy myself with on a Saturday afternoon? So Lucy and I decided to thaw a couple of ounces of breastmilk. Here's how the whole episode started. Toddler hair elastic frozen inside the milk. How on earth does that happen?! Maybe by "overproduction" they mean things like accessories. (This would make me even more impressive that you originally suspected.)

Here is a glimpse of an unassuming infant learning how to use a bottle. She didn't attack it with nearly the same ferocity she goes after the real thing, which pleased me to no end. She just kind of rolled it around and stared at me. She seemed to be happy that other objects in the room were dispensing the magic elixir.

HERE is an infant with a look of abject terror on her face as she realizes her big sister wants a shot at the learning process.

I'd tell you that this blurry picture is one of Molly smiling, but as an eyewitness to the ordeal, I'd be lying.

A key part of teaching a breastfed baby how to use a bottle is holding their forehead firmly, regardless of how many limbs may be flailing about. I can't believe you don't know that.

Most of the milk made it in, but Molly may end up accompanying me on my first couple "nights off." I'm not sure Super Dad is ready for the chaos of giving Molly a bottle.