I want to say a big thank you to everyone who cared for my family and I during all of this, even going so far as to post on my blog, buy post-growth spurt clothes for Lucy, bringing us food and supplies in the hospital, etc, etc, etc. We've needed so many little things in the past couple weeks and have been cared for so well! Molly's birth was truly amazing and such a wonderful time. While I may still mourn my VBAC and doing things "the right way," my experience this time around was so peaceful and comforting. We had time to talk, make decisions, second-guess, ask for second opinions, cry, joke and laugh. As they pulled Molly out during my surgery, I heard her choke and cry and I said to Andrew, "This makes up for everything that went wrong the first time. I guess however they come out, it's still always perfect."
It turns out that I do have Cephalopelvic Disproportion, which means that my pelvis is too small for a baby's head to properly engage and come low enough to get out. It's not so much that it's too small, but that my pelvis is shaped slightly differently than others. Since the baby's head has to turn just right and almost fit through like a key, the shape is important. With CPD there is often never a perfect diagnosis because you can't actually see the pelvis. However, after 3.5 hours of pushing with Lucy and not being able to accommodate Molly's very small head, it appears that this is the case. While I was upset that I didn't get the VBAC, Howard County General Hospital made all the difference. They handed her to me as we left the OR and when we got to recovery, they un-swaddled her and she crawled right up my belly and latched on to nurse for an hour. The took her to the nursery for a couple of hours and by the time my epidural was wearing off, we were all together again, ready to settle in for the night. Andrew fell asleep around 2 am, but I stayed up til 5, just staring at the ceiling, watching Molly, thinking my thoughts and marveling over the past few hours. It was just perfect, spending so much time with her and having so much energy with which to do it.
My midwife was wonderful and really took the time to help me through my options. She was willing to give me a shot at labor and delivery, but after discussing it by ourselves and with several medical people, we felt that a repeat section would be the safest route for Molly Rose.
I was terrified of the spinal, which turned out to be surreal and a tad painful, but not too terrible after all. The absolute best part, of course, was Andrew and I crying hysterically when we heard that indignant little cry. We just kissed and kissed and cried and cried, so happy to hear another sweet little girl fly into our lives. Her fuzzy black hair and tiny little lips are just the most charming and adorable thing you've ever seen. I'm already in love to the Nth degree.
Lucy is doing great with her. You'd never know she was an only child this time last week. She's just too young to realize that Molly hasn't always been here and it's just wonderful. She shows some interest, but for the most part she's too busy to care! This morning she popped out of bed, combed Molly's hair and left to watch Mickey Mouse as if that's her routine every single day. No wailing, no tantrums, no surprise. Just doing her thing as usual. She was a perfect angel all weekend and I KNOW she must have been confused. She just let us shuttle her around and send her all over the place, not a peep out of her. She came back yesterday afternoon and jumped right back into her regular schedule without so much as a sideways glance. I just love my sweet Lucy and am so proud of her for helping us to make this transition so nice.
Well, I'll be posting more pics tomorrow. Molly already looks so different, and I can't wait to show her off!
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