Ahhh...

I moved my computer back to a dedicated office. I was having trouble blogging out there. Granted, things have been a little crazy around here and my will to blog has been a tad...scarce, but it's also been difficult to blog at the eating bar. See, I need to be able to sit back and formulate as I write. It was not easy formulating out there. It was nice having the computer out there, but not practical. Ah, well. Live and learn.

I'm headed out to see some more houses this afternoon. These are all within about ten minutes of Andrew's office, so that's a very, very, very good thing. I'd love to have him home for lunch every so often! We have a decent list of houses to see, but all of them are so pretty and so perfect. I can't wait to get inside and see them in person. I think looking at houses is the best part of buying. So, so, so fun.

The miscarriage is going...slowly. It feels like I'm never going to move fast again, at this point. I just feel so sluggish, worn out and tired. I'm slowly getting excited about trying again. Andrew has been such a wonderful support and has been so present through all of this. A lot of it is just something a mommy has to do on her own, which is hard on both of us, I think. I can't imagine experiencing true infertility. I can see now why an inability to have children can really drive a couple apart if they're not working so, so hard to keep their marriage alive and communicative. I've just sort of burrowed away inside my head lately and am trying very hard to get back to normal. It's so physically draining that I just sort of pass out wherever I am, so our opportunities to talk and really connect and heal together have been limited. We did end up having a nice weekend even though I was in a lot of pain, and my energy is slowly coming back to the point that I can stay up until 10 or even later, which helps. I can't wait to get these pregnancy hormones out and get back into the gym!

Lucy is a little confused, I think. She understood that we were expecting a baby just from the conversations we'd been having around the house, and she was VERY excited about her "little brother." She's still asking me when he's going to be here and my response has just been that "we just need to pray a little harder to make sure God is ready to let him join us." I'm distracting her with Jenny's baby, who will be here so SOON! We can't wait to meet Olivia! I just hope it can hold Lucy off long enough for us to conceive again and get this show on the road. Molly is asking almost as much as Lucy, too. She's a baby freak and is dying for her own "real" baby. She loves to help the girls at the Y with the tiny babies and is the designated "baby swinger." She could spend hours just staring at the little babies and poking at their hands. She's so good with them and listens so carefully when we give her instructions. I know she's just as anxious as Lucy to get Baby Cooke on the road to Cookeville!

Lucy starts soccer in a few weeks! I'm just THRILLED to pieces over the whole thing. Thrilled. To pieces. I need to go out and buy a video camera for the whole thing. We lost our little digital video camera, which is just awful. We haven't taken video of the girls in ages. I think I'm going to get a flip cam. Maybe this weekend. Maybe. I just can't wait to see her scooting around out on the field. Molly is going to lose her mind over not being able to play soccer. I'm assuming I'll have to bring a ball and shin guards to every single game for her.

Molly is talking up a storm now, much of it being baby chatter. She has a few words:
Hi
No
Bottle
Diaper
Poopy
Pool
Milk
Down
Ground
Mama
Dada
Yeah
Baby
Want that


"Ba" is sort of her stand-in word for everything. She always gets the syllables right, but if she doesn't know the word, she'll throw in a "ba" to keep things moving. She's a very, very busy kid and is into everything, but she's a very good listener and very sensitive to descipline, like Lucy was. She's just much more curious than Lucy was! Her favorite object right now is a framed family picture from Lucy's 2nd birthday party - she was about 10 weeks old or so. Molly will carry this picture all over the house, pointing, exclaiming and screeching over the baby in the picture. She just can't get over how cute the baby is!

Well, I'm going to take a little nap while the girls are down. I have a house to clean, so if I can get some rest before I speed clean and dash up to Keller to look at houses, I'll be a happy girl!