Swapping Secrets

It takes very little to ruffle me. I love taking care of the girls and most days are easy-peasy and super fun. Maybe it's the Texas sunshine, or maybe it's our routine. A lot of people read my blog and ask me how I do it all. (Andrew can tell you that I simply don't. Laundry sits, dishes sit and children cry, but that's just life, isn't it?) It's easy to make it look easy on a blog- I don't have to show you Molly standing in Lucy's pee at 6:30am on Saturday morning or the bite marks on her arm from the gym on Friday. Blogs are magical in that they make things look so darn effortless!
So if I seem to have it figured out, I can assure you, I'm probably just showing you the really fun parts.
But homemaking is an art, like anything else. Just like Andrew has worked so, so hard to become a really good negotiator at work, I work really, really hard to make my work an art form. I would say my art is still more like stick figures than the Sistine Chapel, but I'm sure I'm like a fine wine.
What helps? Here are a few tips I stick to, to keep things running smoothly.

• Watch your language - I'm not a "Stay-at-home mom." I'm a Homemaker. Is there a difference? Of COURSE there is! When you say "homemaker," you elevate yourself to what you really are - a living saint who breathes life into her family and provides so many graces to the people you care for. As a wife, you give the greatest love to your husband by being present and really throwing yourself into your work with love. As a mother, parenting doesn't stop at the front door. You're called to take that maternal love out into the world and care for those you know with the same gentleness and grace. Learning to love a child can prepare you for so much more than what's behind your four walls. You're not just a housewife, you're a HOME MAKER. Doesn't that sound more hardcore?
  
• Wear an apron - This sounds insane, I know, but when I wear an apron, I transform. I'm more present. I'm more attentive. I'm more feminine and nurturing. I'm just more. My apron really does transport me to a time when women gave and gave and gave. It drives to me to give me. Not only does it help me focus and really step into my role, but it reminds me that there was a time when homemaking was something that people prepared for and excelled at. Looking for the perfect apron? I like Boojiboo and Kitsch'n Glam.
  
• Call your mother - The women who've gone before you know what it takes to get the job done. If you're lucky, they also know how to really do the job with grace and love. Learn from them. Are you lacking in the nurturing mom department? Some are. If you're really, really looking for a mentor, ask around. Your fellow women are always looking for someone else to mother and when it comes to really learning to manage a household and cope with the demands of doing the job, it's as simple as picking up the phone to get through the day. Call your church office. Say, "I'm a young (or not) housewife and I need someone to talk to who's been there and done that. Can you recommend someone who might just be willing to have a chat and give me some advice?" Chances are you'll end up with another mother who's looking for someone to help. I usually call Grandma Susie on the tough days. She always just says, "This too shall pass!" and things seem more manageable.
  
• Seek inspiration - There are so many places to find inspiration to re-energize your vocation. Keeper Of The Home brings me peace. The Homemaking Cottage is a great place to find a little support. Holiness for Housewives is a wonderful little book to inspire, as is The Domestic Church Room By Room.
  
• Get organized - Clear those countertops and throw stuff away. Empty those closets and re-fold the linens. I guarantee you, organization is just what you need to feel more peace as you go through your day. Knowing where things are and being able to grab what you need in a flash is part of what makes you Supermom! When your house is clear of clutter, your kids respond in kind. Turn off the TV and turn on some classical music. iTunes is just full of relaxing music. It'll quiet the kids and your mind. Have too many thoughts swirling around? Jot them down and vow to think about it LATER. Never spend naptime cleaning. You NEED that time to recharge and revive. Take a hot shower and eat chocolate. That's why God makes them sleep, honey!
• Pay attention to your husband - I'm inferring here, so listen up. Men respond when you respond to them. If you just happen to be "really tired" when he needs something ("something" being things I won't discuss on a blog my grandma reads), he's going to be "really tired" when you need something (like a babysitter and takeout on the bad nights). It's so easy to put time with your significant other on the back burner, but when push comes to shove, this is the very basic, very important first step of your married life. Don't ignore it. I know the last thing you want at night is another person pawing at you, but try to offer the same smile and energy you give to your daytime business. You'll be so, so, so rewarded by a husband who feels loved and cared for when you set aside the time to focus only on him.
  
• Relax, already! - There is nothing that can't be cleaned or tended to the next day. The best purchase we've made to date is our DuraHide furniture from BigLots. If you have a BigLots near you, make haste! This furniture was what we bought when we were trying to furnish a house on a small budget. It looked much nicer than the price indicated and boy was it an awesome buy! I clean the sofa ($350) and loveseat ($250) with baby wipes and 409. They look as perfect as the day we bought them and I'm not afraid to let the kids live in the living room! I'd suggest driving across several states to buy this furniture, if you have to. Everyone thinks we have dark leather furniture and just care for it really well. Our little secret. :-)
  
• Pray - I don't have time to sit down and pray every morning. My prayers usually go something like, "Lord help me!" "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" "So help me God..." and somehow those work. It's perfectly okay to throw up a "Thank you Lord!" when you realize your child isn't choking on a thumbtack. He hears them all. We always say grace and I tell you there's just nothing cuter than an 11-month-old learning to lace her fingers together. I feel like the more I whisper, "Please give me patience" throughout the day, the more patience I'm given.
  
• Take pictures - Do yourself a favor and buy the best camera you can afford, and USE IT. These moments will be gone so soon. When you look back, you won't remember the bad things. So even if you're exhausted and at the end of your rope now, take those pictures and reminisce later. You'll have nothing left but cherished memories. Andrew and I don't remember the sleepless nights. We remember giggling over Lucy's tangled up sleeping form and hitting the deck when she moved in the dark. We don't remember the tantrums. We remember the "I sorry Mommy. You happy now?"s that came after them. The negatives of the job do fade away. I have a job where I'm allowed to take pictures all day, and I do it! There is nothing better than flipping through those pictures of sweet sleeping babies after a day of fighting with an opinionated toddler.

"I prefer the word 'homemaker' because 'housewife' always implies that there may be a wife someplace else. " ~ Bella Abzug :-)