Dear Baby What's-Her-Name,
I am sorry that my first letter to you isn't sappy, but this just isn't the time or the place.
I am writing today to implore you to stop slamming your pointy little head into my terribly faithful and sore cervix. It's been good to me for 25 years and I see no reason for you to abuse the body that's given you life for 10 months. Spanking to follow blissful birth.
Also, it's high time you started doing something more productive than practicing your breathing and growing vital organs. I would like to ask that you begin looking for the nearest exit. (Hint, it's under your pointy little head.)
We're all ready, I've gained more than the recommended amount and your Daddy's in town til Sunday. Why not save the gas and just come this weekend? Then he can stay, I can breathe properly again, and we can get on with the pain of sibling rivalry. Sound fabulous? I thought so.
Well, we're off to enjoy a family outing. If you're going to participate, I suggest you make it something like starting labor or making my water break.
Love,
Your adoring Mommy.
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2 comments:
well there WAS a lot of water, unfortunately it was all in huge tanks at the aquarium...but we are keeping the right thought!
Wow, Baby Sister will love reading this blog entry someday. She's got a "tough Mama" to deal with and if I could talk to her I would say "get with the program, girl" or you are going to hear about it!!
Now, as you know, babies come when they darn well please, so relax and enjoy the ride. She'll be here very soon. AND we can hardly wait (but know we have to).
Love you all. Give the little munchkin a kiss and hug for us.
God bless,
Grandma Susie
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