Well, I have just weeks to go until I have to come to terms with my VBAC. It's a big deal. I'm sorting through old, scary memories, big regrets, giant fears, squished hope, tiny faith and certain loneliness. Getting ready for this is a big deal because I might not have the success I'm hoping for. That's ok. I just need to try.
I've been thinking long and hard about what I'm getting ready to do and I've prepared this project as a way of finding strength and support from other women.
To my fellow moms:
I've just entered my 3rd trimester with our second baby and am so excited to be welcoming another child to our family. Our first, Lucy, was the result of a very traumatic labor and delivery. She was born via c-section after 40 hours of labor and 3-and-a-half hours of pushing. There were many complications that really just amounted to failure to progress, so Andrew and I have decided to that we will be welcoming Phoebe via VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) in February. We're not 100% certain that this is how she'll enter the world, but we're doing everything possible to prepare for success! We'll be moving downstate closer to my due date to deliver with a midwife, and will be surrounded by family and friends.
As the person who'll be doing the pushing, I'm spending a lot of time lying awake thinking about what's ahead of me. I'm so excited about what's ahead of me, but have many lingering memories from my experience with Lucy. In an attempt to make peace with what lies ahead, I ran across an interesting project that I've decided to embark on for the remaining days of my pregnancy. I've decided to create a birth bead necklace to take with me to labor and delivery, to draw on the strength and experience of the women around me who won't be there in person to help us welcome Phoebe.
Here's what I'm asking of you. Send me your birth story. If you have more than one baby, send me your most memorable story or send them all! Send me your thoughts and inspiration, and your wishes and prayers for Phoebe's arrival. In addition, send a bead. Each bead will become a part of the necklace I'll take with me to keep close as Phoebe arrives. Each bead will represent a strong woman who has done what I'm hoping to do, and a baby who has made it safely into this world. Each story, wish and prayer will be bound into a book for the future. When Phoebe is ready to have her own children, I'll pass the necklace to her with wishes from her own birth.
My other request is this. Pass this email along to the women in your life who've given birth and have a story. If you've never given birth, send this link to someone who has. I don't need to know someone to know the feelings and thoughts that accompany the birth of a child, and I'd love to hear from everyone!
Thank you so much for your prayers and support. I'm really looking forward to this project and I hope to go into labor with a long string of beads and an amazing journal of tears and laughter from women who've been there, too.
With Love,
Laura and Phoebe
I hope that my project is successful. I need a tangible symbol of what I'm capable of. Maybe a VBAC isn't in my cards. But the marathon leading up to it is and I'm going to do everything possible to prepare for this. God only knows what I'm really preparing for, and I know He'll keep my mind peaceful and my heart light as I spend the next few weeks trying to wrap my head around giving it another go.
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